It will be a year in which she will experience many incredible things, go through good and bad times (just like at home!), accumulate treasured memories, broaden her horizons, make new friends and travel to places that we have not been to ourselves.  She will be incorporated as an important part of another family, stretch herself as an individual and become more independent and very mature, very quickly.

It will be a time of big adjustments for both you and your daughter – you face an empty room – she will face emotions such as homesickness and at times loneliness.  The anxieties are going to be very real for both of you.

THE AFRICAN AMBASSADORS NETWORK

The team at African Ambassadors would like to reassure you that your daughter is in very good hands. African Ambassadors South Africa works closely with the Au Pair in America offices in the UK and the USA, where over 60 staff – many of them returned Au Pairs themselves - work very hard to ensure that your daughter has a rewarding and memorable year. 

Au Pair in America, as part of the AIFS family, annually welcomes thousands of Au Pairs to the USA, and has a great track record of experience, maturity and knowledge in handling all of life’s major and minor problems. 

ORIENTATION: GETTING SETTLED IN

Even before reaching the host family, the period of adaptation for your daughter begins during the 4 day orientation near New York.  Your daughter will join hundreds of other Au Pairs from around the world, many from South Africa, to participate in an intensive learning and discussion forum on vital matters such as childcare nutrition and recreation, American culture, first aid, emergency procedures, driving rules etc. 

Before long, your daughter will feel much more comfortable about her role and the year ahead, whilst she will have made many friends with whom she will have regular contact. 

At the same time, the first days away from home may bring clarity to the reality of her decision. 

Phone calls from your daughter may express loneliness or anxiety about the changes ahead.  Your ability to reassure and support her venture is crucial and will enable her to move ahead.  Our qualified staff are aware of the difficulties that may be experienced in those first few days and are at hand to help.

THE COMMUNITY COUNSELOR

One of the most important people for your daughter is going to be her Community Counselor.  Within the United States, we have a network of over 170 Community Counselors, one of whom will be running the "cluster group" that your daughter will be joining.  A cluster may consist of 10-45 Au Pairs in an area such as Boston, Chicago or New York.  Our Community Counselors are experienced individuals, often trained social workers or counselors, who may be parents themselves.  Most of them have been in the organisation for many years, have met and looked after hundreds of Au Pairs and have good experience with both Host Families and Au Pairs. 

As you can imagine, they are very experienced in handling those early stages of adaptation.  The Community Counselor has already met your daughter’s host family and has discussed their needs and expectations with them.  The Community Counselor will contact your daughter within 48 hour of her arrival at the host family home, and within 2 weeks meet with both your daughter and the host family.  This Community Counselor is responsible for organising monthly meetings or activities for all Au Pairs in their cluster group, so that they may share experiences and interact with each other.  Follow-up calls are made to each Au Pair who does not attend monthly meetings or participate in other cluster events. The Community Counselor will keep a record of all personal monthly contact with your daughter, as well as reporting on contact they have with the host family.  It is standard procedure within AIFS that all Community Counselors have to follow a strict regime of initial personal contact, follow up calls and monthly cluster events.

It is very important that in your communication with your daughter, you encourage her to participate in all the events organised by the Community Counselor.  We often hear from Returned Au Pairs that they rarely "see" their Community Counselor.  As events are planned well in advance, it is the responsibility of the Au Pair to attend meetings and build a relationship with the Counselor.  That good relationship will allow the Counselor to better assist your daughter if problems arise.

We always stress to our Au Pairs that they enjoy equal standing within their host family.  We suggest that if an Au Pair is having a problem that she contact her Community Counselor for advice on how she might best approach the family to discuss the matter.  This helps keep the Counselor informed of the issues while assisting your daughter to demonstrate her maturity and independence, and develop her problem-solving skills.

In the event such a meeting fails, the Counselor is in a stronger position to contact the family and take the necessary action.  So do permit your daughter to use the resources available to her through the program first.  Remember that you may be hearing only one side of the story and that it may be very difficult for you as a parent to remain objective with so many miles separating you from your daughter. 

THE SUPPORT SYSTEM OF A REMATCH

In the event of significant problems arising between your daughter and the host family, the following safety nets are in place to ensure that issues are dealt with appropriately.

As mentioned above, the first step is for the Au Pair to speak with her host family.  We encourage open communication between both parties, as small things are often initially swept under the carpet, only to grow into bigger issues.  If talking together does not achieve a solution, the Community Counselor will step in and facilitate.  The Community Counselor will bring to the table an impartial attitude and will try and resolve the issue at hand.  If the issue cannot be resolved and a mutual decision is made for the Au Pair to leave the host family’s home, then a process that we call "rematch" will begin. 

Here, we will look for another suitable host family for your daughter on a priority basis.  While the idea of a rematch might sound terrible, let us reassure you that it is actually quite a simple procedure.  After all, we cannot expect a positive connection amongst all the matches being made.  A handful of Au Pairs are rematched every year, so it is a fairly "normal" development. 

Some Au Pairs remain with their host family while Au Pair in America tries to find a suitable rematch, others elect to stay with friends, or the Au Pair may stay with the Community Counselor.  Please note that the Au Pair only receives her pocket money while she is working with a host family.  Board and lodging will be provided for your daughter during the rematch period.

Any problems that arise are tracked closely by our Au Pair in America UK office who will share the information with African Ambassadors South Africa.  It does happen that parents call us and are annoyed that we are not "up-to-date" with their daughter’s problems.  Do remember that she may call you in the middle of the night, whereas we will only hear of it once the news has traveled from the Au Pair in America US office via Au Pair in America UK to African Ambassadors South Africa.   Please also bear in mind that there is a six to ten hour time difference between the States and South Africa.

EMERGENCIES

In the event of an emergency, or as an alternative contact point at any time, Au Pairs have access to a 24-hour toll free number, giving them access to our Au Pair in America US office (or an emergency officer) at any time, day or night, during their stay.  If her Community Counselor is not available, there too will always be a message with emergency procedures and numbers on her answer phone.

FINALLY

We would like to reassure you that, with our professional support network and our Community Counselors with in the United States, your daughter is at all times in good hands. The best way to help us help your daughter is to allow the recourses and systems available to work to the best of their abilities.  We all know that 12 months away from home, in a foreign country, coupled with the tremendous responsibility of childcare is not an easy task.  We certainly have been there ourselves, we know what it is like to feel homesick and far away from family and friends, and hence we will try and do whatever we can to see your daughter through the tough times in order to ensure that she will have the best year of her life!